for my wonderful boy

dear max , we first met at your mums house in mezamet, i was cleaning a stream you came out to help, but the shovel gave you blisters, your mum made you wear marigold rubber gloves i pulled your leg about that for the next twenty years, as if by magic we became instant friends , did two pals ever laugh as much dance sing and, enjoy each others company,you became a member of my family my children fell in love with you, and they still talk about you as if your about to come through the door for a cup of tea play for guitar and sing to them, ten times a day i look up to heaven and talk to you, this time your looking over me instead of me looking over you,  we play the tapes we made togethern , in devon you sang in the garden victoria danced ballet around you and grown peoplecried at the beauty of it, you had the abilty to make people happy, just by being you, you are a good and loyal, friend, thank you for a million memories, all of them good, so long batman see you,

My Musical Companion

My Musical Companion

To even begin to write a personal tribute to you Max feels like the most enormous undertaking. To do it any justice I feel I'd be here for weeks. It still feels utterly incomprehensible that you are no longer here in person but my memories of you will be with me forever and I will try and take your wide-eyed enthusiasm into all my actions.


Some of the most memorable, enjoyable and special moments have been with you or due to you. At school you were the guy who loved singing even more than I did. I had to get to know you! You could hear Bono vocal lines being belted out around Court like some giant mating call or call to arms. One or the other. You loved U2 and Prince as much as I did. I loved your enthusiasm when I first asked you to join the band and the work that you'd put in learning lyrics and rehearsing, whilst girlfriends would wait patiently in their bedsits! I have hugely happy memories of you turning the tables and inviting me to join your band a year later and thereby introducing me to the great Sam Eastall on drums. Uncle Sam's Misguided Children was the best school band and the audiences knew it. I guess I loved the fact that in spite of you having so many admirers, friends and acquaintances, you managed to always keep everyone close and involved. You always treated me with the most enormous respect and gave me your priority time and for this you wholeheartedly won my loyalty and friendship.

I loved the Marlborough reunion that was Olly's stag do - one ongoing boy's night out. I think everyone involved in that holiday will agree that it was a golden time - for years after we threw about the idea of doing it again - but secretly feared for our livers. I have memories of singing on the beach, chain-smoking Camel Lights, staying out all night, then drinking Sangria and Gin and Tonics all day. We drank the hotel out of G&T, we smashed the mains water supply pipe up on the roof (well, you did, pretending to be Batman in cowboy boots!) What a blast! There won't be a holiday like that again I imagine.


It was around this time that I met Hannah and she adored you straight off. You were such a central friend within our relationship. You lit up Hannah's 30th birthday party and got the party swinging. At our wedding you got up on stage and knocked several shades out of Elvis' 'Hound Dog' - the band were rather stunned by the sheer volume and bravado. It felt like every week we had you round to our flat in Chelsea and then Battersea to tip back some wine and rattle through some songs. I loved all our rehearsals for both Winterwells and for France. Practising and performing was always such a laugh because we both shunned perfectionism for pure joy in belting out our favourite songs. The way it should be. Thank you to you and Jane for bringing Hannah and I to France - this will remain as another crystal clear, golden moment in life - everything came together to make the perfect evening and weekend. 

Thank you for being extraordinary, for being full of positivity, warmth, inspiration and energy. You were there at the greatest of times. I'll always be your fan and your friend.

Lots of love, Raph

An irreplaceable brother

Dearest Max

My family and I were lucky enough to know you from your year dot. For the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about why we got on so well. According to Maddie (officially our childminder but more of a daytime mum as you named her) as very young children we 'chose each other' and from then on were as thick as thieves. Suzanne (my brilliant Godmother) and my mother Caroline tell me that whenever we got together - from toddlers to teens - there was a friends' chemistry that saw us forever roaring with laughter and creating havoc.

A few stories that have gone down in family history are turning Suzanne's black carpet white with shaving foam and talc, throwing Pearson's precious pewter down the well in the South of France and stealing corn from the local farmer who gave chase and labelled us, 'les enfantes terribles!'

I would like to say that as we got older we matured, but I can't! As all of your friends know, life with Max was about having fun and a giggle. Some of my best memories are from Christmases, summer holidays with Suzanne and family and lots of parties, which you ensured were never dull.

Of course as well as being a brilliant friend, you were a vital part of our family. Your bear hugs were legendary! You were wonderful to talk to and gave such kind but honest advice. Our parents Caroline and Terry thought of you as a son and to my sister Francesca and I, you will always be our brother. My husband Pete adored you too (you got us together but that's another story!) and we're lucky that Maddy is old enough to remember her incredibly charismatic Godfather.

Max, as you often said, you had so many wonderful friends and family. And I have never seen you so happy as when you were about to marry your beautiful Jane. Jane, Suzanne, Sam Eastall and all of your other amazing friends, who I've since been lucky enough to get to know better, have been incredibly strong and are keeping your memory alive so beautifully. What a wonderful, talented, gorgeous man you'd become. We will always miss you, love you and NEVER forget you. Rest in peace my darling. Cat xxxxxxx

The Best Friend

Max Lowry, my best friend. Max had asked me to speak at his wedding on what my friendship to Max meant. This is (much like Sam Eastall's) an edited version of that speech.

When Max asked me to speak of our friendship, I could only think of one thing, my son Isaac. When Isaac was born, Max was a struggling artist. The friend you would always want at any social event because of what he was as a person. That infectious joy for life, that smile and sparkle in the eye that seemed to light even the darkest days. It was because of those qualities that I asked Max to be Isaac’s godfather, in the hope that he could guide and influence Isaac in being a socially confident, laugh a minute, loyal and happy boy. The evidence that he has helped Ria and I achieve this lives on in Isaac. What more could one friend ask of the other?

I knew Max and I had more-than-most in common the day I first met him. The fact I can remember this moment, again, is testament to the friendship that blossomed from that first day in the Royal Holloway Drama Department. Like all great Drama degree courses, the first thing our year had to do, was draw  pictures of our favourite actors and actress’ and write a brief description as to why we were so influenced by them. As the group started to feed back, and the others on our course went on sycophantic monologues on the theatrical greats, from Larry Olivier, Sir Ben, Sir John, to Emma Thompson, Kenneth Brannagh and all those in between. Max told us all how much Sly Stallone had inspired him through the Rocky franchise, and I harped on about Harrison Ford, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Soul mates, you better believe it buddy.

I believe you measure great friendships by the unspoken respect you always hold for one another, without taking umbrage at the barrage of abuse you might dish out to one another. It’s almost part of the test. A test to see how jokey you can be, yet still have the rock there when you need it! Musically Max and I would forever debate the merits of Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen, versus the Bono and U2! Yet we both knew we were there for each other when needed most.

Max brought many people in to my life and they have made it better! More friends! More family! His mother Suzanne, whom without, we would have been struggling flat hunter’s, let alone Actor and musician, when we left University for London.  Maddy and Freddy Carter and her family, Pat Fitzsimons, Gemma Tottingham, Cat Bevan, Sam Eastall, Ollies Bishop and Barnes, and many more besides. All people I feel thankful to know, and all people I know thanks to Max.

You cannot “choose your family” they say! Max did! I always wanted an older brother.  And by a year he provided me with that. Jane. We are all here for you. I know you would have looked after him. He was my best friend. I am now here to look after you.

Message from Joe Hill, Max's partner in '3D Joe and Max'

The Most...

The first time I saw Max was in a pencil drawing. Twenty years ago, I was walking through the bowels of Marlborough College's art department when an extraordinary self-portrait grabbed my attention. Expressive yet refined, every feature of the artist's face was exquisitely realised. Very few works of art stick in my head, but I can still visualise that prodigious fourteen year old's drawing to this day.

Max was exceptionally talented, a Renaissance man in every sense. But most of all he was a wonderful human being with an unrivalled love for life. The most optimistic, the most generous, the most energetic, the most supportive, the most creative, the most outrageous, the most brave, the most charming, the most loving… If Max were a super hero he would be Super-lative.

Working with Max for the last seven years has been a privilege. Spending that time as a friend has been an even greater joy. Such was his spirit, I was never unhappier at the end of a day spent in his company than I was at the beginning. He taught me so much about how to enjoy the world, about the light not the dark. Max showed me that life's not a battle, it's an adventure.