An irreplaceable brother

Dearest Max

My family and I were lucky enough to know you from your year dot. For the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about why we got on so well. According to Maddie (officially our childminder but more of a daytime mum as you named her) as very young children we 'chose each other' and from then on were as thick as thieves. Suzanne (my brilliant Godmother) and my mother Caroline tell me that whenever we got together - from toddlers to teens - there was a friends' chemistry that saw us forever roaring with laughter and creating havoc.

A few stories that have gone down in family history are turning Suzanne's black carpet white with shaving foam and talc, throwing Pearson's precious pewter down the well in the South of France and stealing corn from the local farmer who gave chase and labelled us, 'les enfantes terribles!'

I would like to say that as we got older we matured, but I can't! As all of your friends know, life with Max was about having fun and a giggle. Some of my best memories are from Christmases, summer holidays with Suzanne and family and lots of parties, which you ensured were never dull.

Of course as well as being a brilliant friend, you were a vital part of our family. Your bear hugs were legendary! You were wonderful to talk to and gave such kind but honest advice. Our parents Caroline and Terry thought of you as a son and to my sister Francesca and I, you will always be our brother. My husband Pete adored you too (you got us together but that's another story!) and we're lucky that Maddy is old enough to remember her incredibly charismatic Godfather.

Max, as you often said, you had so many wonderful friends and family. And I have never seen you so happy as when you were about to marry your beautiful Jane. Jane, Suzanne, Sam Eastall and all of your other amazing friends, who I've since been lucky enough to get to know better, have been incredibly strong and are keeping your memory alive so beautifully. What a wonderful, talented, gorgeous man you'd become. We will always miss you, love you and NEVER forget you. Rest in peace my darling. Cat xxxxxxx

The Best Friend

Max Lowry, my best friend. Max had asked me to speak at his wedding on what my friendship to Max meant. This is (much like Sam Eastall's) an edited version of that speech.

When Max asked me to speak of our friendship, I could only think of one thing, my son Isaac. When Isaac was born, Max was a struggling artist. The friend you would always want at any social event because of what he was as a person. That infectious joy for life, that smile and sparkle in the eye that seemed to light even the darkest days. It was because of those qualities that I asked Max to be Isaac’s godfather, in the hope that he could guide and influence Isaac in being a socially confident, laugh a minute, loyal and happy boy. The evidence that he has helped Ria and I achieve this lives on in Isaac. What more could one friend ask of the other?

I knew Max and I had more-than-most in common the day I first met him. The fact I can remember this moment, again, is testament to the friendship that blossomed from that first day in the Royal Holloway Drama Department. Like all great Drama degree courses, the first thing our year had to do, was draw  pictures of our favourite actors and actress’ and write a brief description as to why we were so influenced by them. As the group started to feed back, and the others on our course went on sycophantic monologues on the theatrical greats, from Larry Olivier, Sir Ben, Sir John, to Emma Thompson, Kenneth Brannagh and all those in between. Max told us all how much Sly Stallone had inspired him through the Rocky franchise, and I harped on about Harrison Ford, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Soul mates, you better believe it buddy.

I believe you measure great friendships by the unspoken respect you always hold for one another, without taking umbrage at the barrage of abuse you might dish out to one another. It’s almost part of the test. A test to see how jokey you can be, yet still have the rock there when you need it! Musically Max and I would forever debate the merits of Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen, versus the Bono and U2! Yet we both knew we were there for each other when needed most.

Max brought many people in to my life and they have made it better! More friends! More family! His mother Suzanne, whom without, we would have been struggling flat hunter’s, let alone Actor and musician, when we left University for London.  Maddy and Freddy Carter and her family, Pat Fitzsimons, Gemma Tottingham, Cat Bevan, Sam Eastall, Ollies Bishop and Barnes, and many more besides. All people I feel thankful to know, and all people I know thanks to Max.

You cannot “choose your family” they say! Max did! I always wanted an older brother.  And by a year he provided me with that. Jane. We are all here for you. I know you would have looked after him. He was my best friend. I am now here to look after you.

Message from Joe Hill, Max's partner in '3D Joe and Max'

The Most...

The first time I saw Max was in a pencil drawing. Twenty years ago, I was walking through the bowels of Marlborough College's art department when an extraordinary self-portrait grabbed my attention. Expressive yet refined, every feature of the artist's face was exquisitely realised. Very few works of art stick in my head, but I can still visualise that prodigious fourteen year old's drawing to this day.

Max was exceptionally talented, a Renaissance man in every sense. But most of all he was a wonderful human being with an unrivalled love for life. The most optimistic, the most generous, the most energetic, the most supportive, the most creative, the most outrageous, the most brave, the most charming, the most loving… If Max were a super hero he would be Super-lative.

Working with Max for the last seven years has been a privilege. Spending that time as a friend has been an even greater joy. Such was his spirit, I was never unhappier at the end of a day spent in his company than I was at the beginning. He taught me so much about how to enjoy the world, about the light not the dark. Max showed me that life's not a battle, it's an adventure.